I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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