At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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