You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
