He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just found puke in my bra..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
