Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
