positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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