I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
