Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
