nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
