Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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