My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
