I am in a vortex of obligation.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
