At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
