seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
