A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
