matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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