I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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