Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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