Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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