Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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