well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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