ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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