just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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