so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
