I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
