just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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