i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
