So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
