I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
