i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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