I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
