Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
