is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
