you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
