She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
