We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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