We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
