i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
