can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
