I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
