Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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