Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
