Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
