Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
