my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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