i think my mom watched the whole time
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
