There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
