Already got asked if we're dating
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
