halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
