if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
