i barfeds in our rink
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
